I am a mother of three girls and I have been married for just over 13 years to one of the most wonderful people in the world. My entire life I have struggled with my weight. I have NEVER been thin, and I mean NEVER. I believe I came out of the womb with an addiction to food that just has never stopped.
I live in the shadow of my skinny younger sister that is beautiful and everyone falls all over. She can get into a size 2 without even trying. I hate that! I have gotten my weight as low as 158 two times since getting married, but sadly, I never stayed there long. Today, I weighed in at 189. I am just 11 pounds away from 200. The most I have ever weighed is 195, but that was the day I gave birth. It is horrifying to me that I should be this close and I am not even pregnant, nor have I been for over 3 years.
So what methods have I tried? Well, mostly, I have done things on my own. When we lived in the DC area I worked out at a great gym and had a wonderful trainer. I cannot afford to do that now and I have been on my own ever since. Also, when we moved to Ohio I had just had a baby, became a work at home mom and only just recently joined a gym. But it has been nearly 3 years since I have had a gym membership. I have tried the South Beach Diet and was actually quite successful with that. However, this time around I have not been able to deprive myself of carbs and sugar. I think that is because I now work out of my home and I have full access to my kitchen, and sadly, I usually reach for junk food. I do enjoy working out, but am far better at doing it when I am being held accountable, and that just hasn't happened this time around. I am hoping this blog will help me in that respect.
So what is my plan? Well, I am not sure. I just know that I have just recently had to buy a size 16 pair of jeans and I don't like that at all. I have a closet full of clothes that are size 12 and I really want to get rid of them when they get too big. I don't have any unrealistic ideas here, but I would like to get into a size 10. I am 5'4" and a medium frame. My bone structure would never allow me to wear a size 4 and I think 6 would be pushing it. It would be great to be in a 6, but I would be oh so happy with a 10.
More than the size, I would really like nothing more than to just be healthy. Almost 5 years ago I had a baby, my second, and she was born early due to me developing severe preeclampsia at only 23 weeks. She was only 13 oz when she was born and a tiny 8 1/2" long. I was very sick and of course so was she. She lived for just 2 1/2 days before she passed away in my hands. I became aware of some genetic conditions that predispose me to higher risks of high blood pressure, heart disease, stroke and other things. I KNOW how important it is for me to be healthy. I just can't seem to get into gear this time around. After her death I was more determined than ever to get healthy and be in good shape so that I might be able to try for another baby. I worked very hard, both physically and with my diet. I was looking pretty good. This is one of those times where I made it to 158 pounds. I felt great! I want to feel like that again!
Week one goals:
- I will work out at least 3 times this week for no less than 45 minutes. This is a fairly light goal for the week, but one that I am pretty sure I can accomplish.
- I am going to eat only home cooked meals this week. I have been really bad lately about eating out and that is never a good thing.
When I weigh in on Saturday, I will be down 2 pounds. I know it is a bit high, but not for me on the first week of cleaning up the diet. Typically if I do it right, the number will be much higher, but I am shooting for no less than 2 pounds.
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